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It’s A New Life

August 25, 2014

I spent the last month in a foreign country, learning a foreign language & living the life of a foreigner.  It was so funny to think of myself as the foreigner.  One morning I walked into Starbucks, it looked like an American Starbucks, the music was the same as in an American Starbucks & even the names of the offerings were the same.  I walked up & ordered a Grande Caramel Machiatto and the girl said “Algo mas?” and I said in perfect English as if she’d spoken a foreign language “come again?” and then I had to laugh.  I looked at her as if she’s spoken the foreign language but it was me speaking the foreign language.  

This moment stands out for me because I think it was when I realized that my perception of life needed to be expanded.  On June 23 of this year, I lost my job.  The reason behind it is completely irrelevant because it was stupid so that is all I will say about it.  I will say that I am not bitter about being let go from a place where I enjoyed what I did, my customer felt that I was the best they’d ever encountered (not the people I sold to but my Real Estate professionals who brought buyers).  I am not bitter because I know I gave the best I had to offer & the results showed in customer service awards.  The other reason I am not bitter is because it changed my life.  I am 44 years old and I’ve done a lot of things in those years.  I have a wealth of experience in fields that are completely unrelated to one another.  The only thing I have never had was true passion.  

I found that I completely enjoyed the autonomy of my position but more importantly, what I loved most was helping people.  I already knew I was persuasive, I already knew I have the ability to connect with people but this was the first time I got paid to really feel as if I were making a difference and that changed things for me.  In the past, I have motivated people to make changes, to break up, make up, start blogs, businesses, etc.  I received joy from it even though there was no compensation for it other than just a good feeling.  

What feels like a million years ago, when I had a man in my life, we started discussing where we would live after we retired.  South America was one of the places we talked about.  What does that have to do with what I shared above?  Everything, I realized I was not only a motivator of others but that I too had motivated myself into some pretty amazing places.  Out of a marriage that wasn’t working, into raising two kids to be educated and not be victims of being kids of divorce, being black or any other thing you can think of.  It was time for me to motivate myself into realizing the dream of where to retire to.  It was a move that many felt was scary since I was doing this alone.  This trip, this vacation, this journey was taken after losing a job with no replaceable income.  An entire month of stay, food, plane fare and I still had my bills at home.  People were telling me how brave I was but the part I kept to myself until just before I returned to the states was that I was no longer employed.  

For some, this would have been a reason to stay.  For me, it was the reason I needed to go.  I felt this was a now or never moment in my life.  I remember being 16 and having a conversation with my dad in our living room where on the news they said for every dollar your employer pays you, they make $3.  That pissed me off right then & there to the point where I never forgot it.  I said to my dad, I want to work for myself because no one should make more on me than I do myself & I want to like what I do for a living.  He thought he was schooling me when he told me about paying bills being the priority.  28 years later I say I want to like what I do for a living & if that means working for myself, been there done that.  The difference, the last time I ran my own business it was for money, I did not enjoy it.  This time, it will be for fulfillment.  Why I’m not bitter is because I learned that when you are passionate, when you love what you do the money will come.  So, in conclusion its so difficult to be bitter when a valuable lesson has been learned.  It took me half of my life to finally learn that I get a serious high, a true sense of fulfillment from helping others.  

So, I am re-creating myself, showing others that they too can find fulfillment, enjoyment & love in living the life they were meant to live.  Its kind of scary, I won’t lie, I’ve tossed, turned & prayed a lot over the past month but God has me like He’s always had me.  I won’t lie & say there won’t be moments of worry but its time to rip the roof off of this life I’m living & make some shit happen.  I’ll keep you posted on the journey & hopefully I’ll inspire you to join me in taking our lives by storm in the process.  

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 27, 2014 06:18

    Hello, my shoe friend! Losing your job is horrific, but it gives you absolute permission to say “no” to some things – and more importantly to say “yes” to the things that really matter in your life. I sincerely hope that you find a place where your talents and “Joie de vivre” can be appreciated – and rewarded. Big hug to you…. and I have faith in YOU! xo Chellie

    • August 28, 2014 13:50

      Thank you my friend, I am certainly embracing the moment. I too believe everything happens for a reason, I am firmly in the moment and looking at everything with a new set of eyes that’s for sure. I wouldn’t say losing the job was horrific, it will be a huge blessing in the end. It allowed me to do some things I wouldn’t have been able to do had I still been working. A full month in Chile? I don’t think so 🙂 My perspective is definitely a bit different and its time to switch gears & make some magic is the way I see things.

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